Top 20 Funniest Messenger Statuses
I've seen a lot of funny statuses in my life so I’ve decided to make a top. Here comes my top 20 funniest messenger statuses:
20. I am talking on the phone, eating their food, and ignoring their kids and they pay me for it.
19. I'm sitting on babies... oops! I mean babysitting.
18. I am stranded on toilet island.
17. If I had a computer in my bathroom, I wouldn't be away right now.
16. Today is the most important day of the year... My birthday!
15. Today is my favorite holiday. Yup, you guessed it, its my birthday!
14. I'm so bored. Let me know if you want to join me.
13. I'm busy being bored.
12. I'm reading all of my very important emails. I only have 3,876 new messages left, I'll get back to you when I finish.
11. I'm checking my fan mail.
10. A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome."
09. If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I would give them a push.
08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
07. I'm right 90% of the time, so why worry about the other 3%?
06. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
05. 84.1% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
04. My dog ran away with my keyboard and I'm out trying to catch him.
03. I'm sitting right at my computer, you can IM me but I'm too lazy to respond at the present time.
02. He broke my heart so I broke his jaw.
01. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
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