YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS REALLY UGLY IF...
Last Updated on Tuesday, 30 November 1999 00:00
* She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.
* As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.
* Even mosquitoes stay away from her.
* She startles the animals at the zoo.
* On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
* She makes onions cry.
* Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.
* Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
* The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.
* When she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.