WHAT MOMS REALLY WANT FOR MOTHER'S DAY

Last Updated on Tuesday, 30 November 1999 00:00

Jokes - Holiday jokes

* To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash).

* To have her 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

* Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty pounds to her figure.

* A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as she puts a razor to her ankle.

* A full time cleaning person who looks like Brad Pitt.

* For her teenager to announce, "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

* A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

* To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

* To be able to step on a plane with their toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me?!?"

* To occasionally get to sleep late on the weekend. I mean is this too much to ask?

* To actually carry on a normal phone conversation with her toddler in the SAME room.

* To actually be able to finish a HOT cup of coffee while her kids are present. An impossible feat!

* To take a hot bath without her toddler suddenly screaming, "Mommy, I have to go potty!" as soon as she hits the water.