SIGNS YOU'RE IN A BAD HOSPITAL
Last Updated on Tuesday, 30 November 1999 00:00
*You go in for routine surgery, you come out with a tail.
*You recognize your doctor as kid who was mopping the lobby when you checked in.
*Instead of sponge bath, they send St. Bernard to lick you.
*As you're going under, your surgeon says, "Man, am I baked!"
*In the operating room, you see a surgeon holding a sign that says, "WILL DO SURGERY FOR FOOD!"
*Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle playing Taps.
*All the diplomas on the wall are signed by Sally Struthers.
*You and your roommate have to take turns on the I.V.
*Through fog of anesthesia, you hear surgeon shouting, "Bring the damn Scotch tape! And plenty of it!"
*Instead of "patient," they use the term "plaintiff."