HOW THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MICROSOFT WAS LOCATED IN GEORGIA

Last Updated on Tuesday, 30 November 1999 00:00

Jokes - Computer jokes

* Their No. 1 product would be "Microsoft Winders."

* Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.

* Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.

* Instead of "Yes," "No," or "Cancel," dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Aww-right," "Naw," or "Git."

* Instead of "Ta-Dah!" the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos."

* The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse.

* Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear "Freebird!"

* Instead of "Start Me Up," the Winders95 theme song would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie."

* Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt."

* Instead of "VP," Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz."

* Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.

* Daisy Duke screen saver.

* "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..."

* Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.

* Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates.

* "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation template.

* One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12-gauge shotgun.

* "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver.

* Directions to Corporate Headquarters: "Down the road a block or so."

* Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker, "Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me."