SIGNS YOU BOUGHT A BAD COMPUTER

* Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.

* It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.

* In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.

* It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".

* The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.

* Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.

* The screen often displays the message,  "Ain't it break time yet?"

* The manual contains only one sentence:  "Good Luck!"

* The only chip inside is a Dorito.

* You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.