CAT DIARY

Last Updated on Tuesday, 30 November 1999 00:00

Jokes - Animal jokes

I heard the big owner on the radio with ways to talk about humans and still be politically correct. Well, here's: "HOW TO TALK ABOUT CATS & STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT."

I'm not aloof. I am Hominoidally Unimpressed.

I don't shed. I develop Follicle Abdication.

I don't scratch. I cause temporary hemoglobin displacement.

I don't purr. I am aurally appreciative.

I am not indifferent. I am Dispassionately Neutral.

I'm not small. I am Corpus Compactus.

I am not fat. I have a Distended Cat Food Storage Facility.

I am not asleep. I am temporarily inert.

I don't chase mice. I am Rodent Defiant.

I am not fussy. I become a Fastidious Feline.

I am not hungry. I suffer from Craving Derangement Disorder.

I'm not fixed. I am Romantically Inaccessible.

The Big Owner isn't dumb. He is a Speed Bump on the Information Superhighway.