Animal jokes 1
Last Updated on Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:14
Ben:My dog doesn't have nose!
Joey:How does he smell then?
Ben:Awful!
Two zebras meet and begin to argue about whether they are white with black stripes or black with white stripes.
The first zebra goes and asks God.
God responds by saying, "You are what are."
So the zebra returns and says to the other zebra we are white with black stripes.
The other zebra says how do you know? What did God say?
The zebra replies saying he said we are what we are. If we were black with white stripes he would have said, "You is what you is."
A child was continually asking his Mom to buy him a hamster.
When she did, the child looked after it for a couple of days, but soon he got bored, and it became the Mom's responsibility to feed it.
One day she got upset with the her son's carelessness and asked him, "How many times do you think this hamster would have died until now, if I wasn't looking after it?"
The child replied, "Um, I don't know. Once?"
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".
(Scene from one of the old Pink Panther films)
"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."