Funny Away Messages for Aim

Written by Little genius

• "Sometimes I just sign on and off in rapid succession, knowing that computers around the world are producing the terrible sound of doors slamming. "
• Out playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Ladin. Damn he's good!
• "I need something down my throat... and no it's not your tongue, sorry"
• I've lost my mind~out to go find it
• They say I have A.D.D. they just don't understand... Oh look a squirrel!
• Not the sharpest crayon in the tool shed are we? oh wait...
• Time is never wasted when your wasted all the time!?
• 567.. 568.. 569.. Can't talk until I finish my pushups 570.. 571..
• "BRB, I am taking care of business"
• Screw Snapple I'm the best stuff on earth
• What kind of s/n is %n(Their Screen name)?
• Only fools leave away messages
• insert away message here>
• Let's talk about Rights and Lefts.. Your Right! I left!
• "I'm not here. Cry me a river, build me a bridge, then do us all a favor and jump off of it! "
• Now I lay me down to study and pray the lord I don't go nutty if I shall fail to learn this junk I pray the lord I will not flunk if I do don't pity me
• Who even reads these anymore?
• "This straight jacket is surprisingly comfortable, but unfortunately I cant reach my keyboard until they unstrap me.. I really like the padded rooms though, they are very fun until about the third day of isolation then you get bored... that's when you start thinking... was I ever really sane? "
• Did I ever tell you that I loved you
• I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
• I spent all day thinking about a cool away message and this is what I came up with: NOTHING
• You're right...I left!
• How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
• Sleeping... it's what I do when I am not awake
• "If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!!:- "
• I'm not here so talk to yourself
• "From ashes to ashes from dust to dust, life is too short, so party WE MUST... "
• Me fail English? That's impossible.
• Why do I need to tell you where I am?
• Go Go Gadget Away Message!
• I've gone off the deep end...be back when I feel like swimming
• No one dies a virgin...life screws us all!
• I want you... I need you... to leave a message!!
• I walked away and all I left was this lousy away message
• I'm not Elmo but you can tickle me!
• "I'm away so cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT! "
• "I'm studying. Don't laugh, I really am! Alright fine...your right I'm not, just don't tell my mom. "
• I like beer
• Wouldn't you like to know?
• I'm locked in my rubber room again.
• "I'm not here, I've gone out to look for myself. If I come back before I return, please tell me to wait"
• "When you got to go, you got to go. "
• Error 412: (Your Screen name)'s mailbox is full and is temporarily unable to receive messages. Please try back another time.
• Always smile even if it's a sad smile because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.
• "Lady Astor: ""Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!""
• Winston Churchill: ""Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."" "
• I've been temporarily distracted...be back when I lose interest!
• "I am always confused when people ask me did you sleep good? I always wonder if they want me to say no, I made a few mistakes."
• I hate my alarm clock...it works!
• "I am not here so cry me a river, build me a bridge, and just get over it! "
• I'm busy your ugly have a nice day
• 3.1415926535897932384626433 832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089 98628034825...
• Out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
• The covers of this book are too far apart.
• "How are you reading this, %n(Their Screen name)? I thought I blocked you! "
• Out up to no good...
• How can you miss me...if I didn't go away?
• If you were homework...I'd be doing you on my desk right now!
• Beleeve it or not i am aktually at klass tyring two git meself en edumacation... lev a msage?
• Be quite brain or I will stab you with a Q-tip. Be right back
• I'm off saving the world from self-destruction. Try me later.
• "Earth this is God..I want all you people gone by the end of the month, I have a buyer who is interested in the property! "
• "Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
• Stop checking away messages.
• "hmm...I wonder what I'm doing, you tell me "
• "Hi this is (Your Screen name)'s computer. He's away, but I'm open for suggestions. "
• Out watching the grass grow
• Shoot I forgot to leave an away message!
• I'm watching a movie right now so go away before I start throwing popcorn at you
• "Remember: 'i' before 'e', except in Budweiser. "
• I can't think of a good away message.
• "You have just received the Amish computer virus. Since, the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor systems. Please delete all of the files from your computer. Thank you. "
• %n(Their Screen name) signed off at %t(current time).
• I am not here...what kind of loser is online at %t(current time)
• I have been distracted by a shiny object. Leave a message after the twinkle!
• "When you were born, everyone around you was smiling and you were crying. Live your life so that when you die, you're smiling and everyone around you is crying. "
• I fell out of my chair. This might take a while!
• Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives!
• I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.
• Please wait...
• Everywhere but here!
• Just plea the 5th- or drink it- either way.
• My dog ate my away message.
• "Splish, splash, I am taking a bath. "
• "Out of my mind, be back in 5 minutes. "
• We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
• The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
• The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
• I'm trick or treating on the highway in a deer costume. Be right back.
• Watching HBO... but I'll get back to you at a commercial break
• I am working hard... or am I hardly working?
• SHHH...I'm sleeping...dreaming about...you...ah...NIGHTMARE...hurry up someone wake me up!
• My mother told me never talk to strangers. That's why I never talk to myself anymore.
• "I'm hot, wet, and wishing you were here. Actually, I'm in the shower, but I'll be back later. "
• "I don't study want to know why? Studying gives you knowledge, knowledge give you power, power corrupts. I don't want to be corrupt therefore I don't study "
• I can't think of a good away message so go to here and find one for me
• Stalker!
• I am under my desk right now and by the looks of this guy I'll be there for a while...leave a message!
• "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone. "

• "If you think I just wait around my room all day waiting for messages then you would be right, but that's not the point...leave a message! "
• Snorting a few lines before bed
• I am not really away... the computer must be lying to you.
• the voices in my head are talking again!
• Some people IM people just to see their away message.
• Strike 1.. Strike 2.. Strike 3.. I'm out... so call my cell
• "Damn, I've fallen into the fourth dimension again. Be back later "
• Do you realize that by reading this message you've just wasted 14 seconds of your life?
• "Do you know what? No I suppose you don't. I'll introduce him to you sometime when I'm bored. However, right now I'm not bored because I'm not here so leave one. "
• HA I'm gone and you are sitting around reading away messages!
• I can't be here all the time ya know
• "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm taking a shower, So I won't smell like you! "
• "I'm so busy doing nothing, that I can't do anything else. "
• "Not here, not there, where am I? "
• "I'm single-handily trying to free the world of hunger, starting with myself. "
• Don't act like you didn't see that yellow pad next to my name
• I'm physically here but not mentally so leave a message!
• A guy walked into a bar. He was treated for minor injuries.
• I'm out getting drunk leave a message and I'll contact you when I sober up.
• "Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them. "
• I'll sleep when I'm dead.
• Calm down. It's only ones and zeros.